Reprinted from the Beeline newsletter of the Utah Quilt Guild, Nov. 1991. Also printed in the LGQG Newsletter April/May 1996.

1. It insulates the closet where it is kept.
2. It helps keep the economy going. It is our patriotic duty to support cotton farmers, textile mills and quilt shops.
3. It is less expensive and more fun than psychiatric care.
4. Because it is on sale
5. A sudden increase in the Boll Weevil population might wipe out the cotton crop for the next ten years
6. I’m participating in a contest- the one who dies with the most fabric wins.
7. It keeps without refrigeration, you don’t have to cook it to enjoy it, you never have to feed it, wipe its nose or walk it.
8. I need extra weight in the trunk of my car for traction on snow or icy roads. This is important even in Florida and Southern California – you never know when the weather will change.
9. Because I’m worth it.
10. Like dust, it’s good for protecting previously empty spaces in the house like the ironing board, laundry hamper, the dining room table ….
11. When the big one comes, all the quilt shops may be swallowed into the ground and never seen again.
12. Stress from dealing with the Fabric Control Officer (my husband) made me do it.
13. It’s not immoral, illegal or fattening. It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul and makes me feel good.
14. Buy it now before your husband retires and goes on all your shopping expeditions.
15. A yard a day is all the quilt shops of America/ Canada ask.